Expectations

Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem, expect abundance on every level. – Eileen Caddy

Expectation is a word we have been trained to stay away from. It is indeed a cause of suffering in many situations. But, there was a proviso we might have forgotten to read.

Expectations of good(in our opinion) behaviour from everyone, expectation that everything in the world should be as we want, expectation that nothing will ever fail,…these are the kinds of expectations which are, in fact, bound to fail. Consequent disappointment is the cause of misery.

But, if we perceive and accept the present as good and then expect it to get better, it will get better. The problem lies in rejecting the current reality as bad and then expecting it to improve.

Expectation is not bad in itself. In fact, it is not bad at all. Resisting the present causes unhappiness.

We must expect to receive the best of everything the Universe has to offer. God awaits that expectation.

#LoveJoyPeace
Shubha Baldota
Counsellor and Life Coach

Advertisements

I own my anger

If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return. – Dr. Deepak Chopra.

We are not just told by others, we somehow know that fear and anger are not qualities to possess happily. So we try to suppress, burry, ignore or act contrary to them. For example, we deliberately act bravely to disguise our fears. But, all these ways do not really help in getting rid of fear and anger.

Knowing these feelings, understanding the causes underlying them, and most importantly owning them is essential to their healing. Some people do accept their fears and anger. But, most of us repudiate them. As a result, we project it outside of us. We notice fear and anger in people around us more often than we consciously know. It is a natural response of the mind.

If we know our fear and anger and do not disown them, we will hardly notice it in others. Acceptance is the first step to healing and overcoming them; understanding is the second. Fear and anger are two faces of the same emotions. They generate two responses – fight or flight. We know about these instinctive reactions. But, still cannot accept our emotions.

The antidote or cure for fear and anger is Love. Self love is the best healer. Accepting yourself as you are and loving yourself despite any quality or trait you dislike in yourself, helps in healing them. Cursing yourself would be of little help.

Try this: Think of a quality or trait you do not deny in yourself. Now try to recollect if you ever noticed it in others. You will be amazed to know that you do not project it outside. This experiment will provide greater insights.

Love, Joy, Peace
Shubha Baldota
Counsellor and Life Coach

Achieve Happily, Not Happiness.

You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.

I know. I know. This is hard to digest. But, then what is peace and happiness all about? Doesn’t that mean acknowledgement? Doesn’t that need acceptance?

I do not intend to say that we should not have dreams, desires, goals. We can very well be, as Ben Sweetland puts it: ‘Happily Discontent‘. We may choose to be happy and grateful for whatever we have right now and then act to enhance the joy or even to share the joy. Fulfilment of our dreams and desires can just be the sources or means of expansion of these feelings. “Achieving happily and not happiness.”

The secret key to success in any area of our lives is ‘Joy’. If you take off from this feeling, you will land in the same feeling. If you take off from a feeling of unhappiness, neediness, or desperation, you will land in those feelings. There are no crossroads. But there are tunnels for us to transform at any moment in between the journey and thus redirect landing.

Even if we have started off from a place of need, we can transform the feeling to enthusiasm or exuberance. We can convert the nature of our goal from ambition to expression. Is this why people say, ‘Happy Landing’ when we take a flight? I guess so! Let this Monday be the foundation stone in building not just the week ahead, but the new year soon arriving. God is equally excited!

#Love, #Joy, #Peace
Shubha Baldota
Counsellor and Life Coach

Care

In the book Art of Loving, Eric Fromm includes Care to be one of the components of love. Today, we will understand and implement care.

Care is the deepest shade of love. When you care about someone you do not even need to express your love in words.

Care means attention. Care means concern. When someone gets your attention and feels your concern through your actions, he/she knows that you love him/her.

Care is a shade of respect as well. When you care about someone’s likes, dislikes, views, opinions, weaknesses or limitations, he/she feels your respect. They feel the unconditional acceptance. And, as you know, unconditional acceptance is the foundation of Unconditional Love !

Caring about someone’s needs is a great way of expressing love. Being observant helps in knowing even the smallest need; and observation is possible with attention. When we demonstrate such care the recipient remembers it for his whole life.

So, Care in Action is the mantra today. Have a loving, caring day !

Love, Joy, Happy Thoughts

Shubha Baldota